The Question of School April 1, 2009
Growing up, I lived in a small town in which there were three public schools: Smalltown Elementary, Smalltown Middle, and Smalltown High. I attended all three of them, and many of the kids who started with me at one of the few church-affiliated preschools journeyed through the next twelve years and sat with me at graduation. We weren’t all friends, of course, and kids left and new kids came, but we knew each other. We’d seen each other through the early years of runny noses and potty training, all the way through body hair and other major changes. Girlfriends, boyfriends, ridiculous fights, entertaining parties. We knew each other.
A couple of private schools also served our little county, but those of us in the public school tended to think poorly of the students there, calling them derogatory names and assuming they were all a bunch of snotty rich kids. I’m sure the other side thought no better of us.
I stand on the brink of sending my Butterfly to kindergarten. She has one year of preschool left. One last year of only going to school three days a week, three hours a day. Just one more year to enjoy long, unscheduled weekdays in which we explore the community libraries and playgrounds with no thought of homework or carpool lines. I’d be lying if I said I’m not scared out of my mind at the prospect.
Certainly, most parents feel wary about sending their firstborn children off for that initial school year. As long as I don’t fret too much or project my concerns onto my gal, I think we’ll make it. Like any change, this one will be difficult, but eventually we’ll adjust and live into a new normal.
It’s been tough to come to terms with where Butterfly will attend, though. Most of my friends, most of the moms at the preschool—most in my social group, I suppose—send their children to one of the numerous private schools in the area. It’s true that our county’s public schools have a poor reputation. These parents’ choices are understandable as they strive to provide their kids with the best education available. For us, it’s not an option. At least not yet. The King and I have decided to give the public school system a try. We hope that, by being as involved as possible, we can help our bright Butterfly thrive. We look forward to connecting with other families we might not encounter otherwise. We anticipate Butterfly’s meeting new friends. If need be, we are open to other options in the future.
Truthfully, I envy my best friend, a gifted teacher who will homeschool all three of her children this fall. I’ve watched her during this past year with her oldest daughter, heard them talk about the vibrant homeschool community in our area, seen them take advantage of museums and libraries and other weekday opportunities, and recognized the way their lives are being refreshed, relaxed, and revitalized as they set their own schedules. I have no doubt that my friend’s intelligent, creative children will do well with their mother as their teacher.
This too, however, is not an option for us. I shudder to think of the detriment I might cause to my girls’ educations if I chose to teach them at home. I shudder to think of my personal sanity. My gifts are simply not suited for homeschooling.
Some parents will send their kids to private schools, and that’s okay. Some parents will homeschool their kids, and that’s okay. Some, like us, will send their kids to public schools, and that’s okay too. We must choose what we think is best for our children, devote time to them, and express strong hope for their futures.
I went to public schools and I turned out just fine (although some may debate me on that point). What elementary school are you zoned for? My impression is that while the system as a whole leaves much to be desired, several individual elementary schools are quite good (and access to the gifted program is an especially big plus). There have been new middle and high schools built since I was there, but I attended Miller (the old one) and Central with no ill effects, aside from sweating a lot due to no a/c. I think the AP and IB offerings were very strong, academically.
Wow, can I relate to this. I’m a little further along in the process with my son entering second grade, but choosing a school is stressful.
You always wonder if you are doing the right thing. I suspected that homeschooling was in our future, but it is not something that either my wife or I have a passion for.
We had a great experience with a Montessori pre-school so we kept him in private school in first grade, continuing in Montessori, without really doing much research..
About 3 months in, it felt like it wasn’t right for him. His pre-school teacher had done so much, but in the first grade class, it didn’t seem like he was being challenged.
So, then I started researching. And since last November I have looked into so many schools and homeschooling. I hear great things about the public school that we are now zoned for(I moved in Sept).
It’s a stressful mess. Eventually, I came to the point where I realized he was going to be himself no matter where he went. I came really close to putting him in public school. Really, it does come down to parent involvement.
The main thing that stopped me was that the local public schools just had a ton of funding cut and parents were mobilizing. I hate that. I don’t want to deal with that.
So, I’ve finally come to the decision that I am moving him to a different private school. This one goes all the way through 12th grade. The Montessori school only went through 6th grade. Our plan was to move him to this school after 6th grade, but we’re moving him now. We want to make a decision and then stick with it. Moving schools a lot as a kid stinks, I am told.
So, my point is - you’re always going to worry.
They’ll be fine. I’m learning now how much my mom fought with my teachers and I never knew…
I don’t think I have a single memorable moment from Smalltown Middle or Smalltown High that doesn’t have you in it. All those years with Mrs. Joiner…that awful 7th grade musical about American music…the slumber party at Kelly’s house the last day of 8th grade…big hair…our 9th grade trip mining for rubies in NC…crushes on various boys…sitting next to each other in keyboarding class…being aides to Mr. Neff…us as tennis partners for two years…I could go on for quite awhile!
John and I have decided to give the public schools a try too, but here in Tucson we are blessed with several public “charter” schools: smaller tuition-free schools with specif interests, such as science, drama, etc. We are heavily leaning toward the Sonoran Science Academy, a K-12 school that starts teaching science in kindergarten and relies increasingly heavier on sciences and math as the years progress. I’m sure Butterfly will do wonderfully no matter where she goes; perhaps she’ll end up Valedictorian like her mama!
I still have three ( maybe 4) years with my little one in a church preschool and I already think about what choice we will make. Homeschool is not an choice for us either for many of the reasons you said, and a few more.
However, coming from a public school background I really admire you and the King for sending Butterfly to public school. I agree that the the parent’s role is as important in the education process as where they attend school and because of that I’m sure Butterfly will continue to be a happy bright girl!
Kelley, it is so nice to know someone else who is choosing to send their kids to public school. I feel like lately everyone I talk to is so down on public schools, and it’s frustrating for us. They have plenty of problems, and there are some out there that we probably would not consider, but if so many active parents opt out of public schools, then we’re never going to fix them. We want our kids to go to public school because we really want them exposed to as diverse a population growing up as possible. I’m sure you guys will be very involved parents, and you’ll fill in the educational gaps at home as needed. Your girls will be just fine. (Besides, let’s face it. Middle and high school are mostly awkward and uncomfortable. Private school won’t change that!)
I understand your anxiety about choice of schooling. As a teacher, I see parents often agonizing over where to send them. However, I have found that it’s not public or private. It’s the PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT. And I know that you and John will totally be involved w/ Butterfly’s teacher and education. I have taught at some private schools where I never saw the parents and they were totally disconnected. Now I teach at a public institution and the parents are always willing to help, donate, etc. The kids are happy and are doing extremely well. It takes both parents and teachers to create the ideal education for children. I wish you well. p.s. Homeschooling is a very sensitive subject.. a lot of people are doing it who are not qualified plus it deprives kids of social development. Yeah, dance class, soccer, whatever, it’s not the same as having to learn to get along with lots of different kids at school.
I think our biggest problem will be finding a school that will put up with our kids’ antics in case they act anything like their father did when he was their age.
Yeah, um, you may want to keep John as far away from the school as you can. I’m not saying he was a goofball in class or disruptive or anything–psst! Kelley! he was–but if you want your daughters to do well in school, keep their clown, er, father away.
Of course you have a blog! Why haven’t I thought to ask? What a treat for me to discover…for so many reasons, one of which being that I need all the help I can get w/ Lost.
Don’t know how much I shared at the time but oh how we wrestled with this decision. I’ve really come to have grace and appreciation for many schooling choices. Glad to be able to encourage you that public school is serving all our girls wonderfully this year! (And John one of them is a fire cracker!) Nothing else makes sense for us at this point. No predictions for the future though!
I hope it will be a fun year for you all!
[...] recently penned some thoughts regarding our school choices. She and I grew up as products of public school systems and show few [...]