Queen Kelley

When Butterfly was a young toddler, we noticed a blue tint around her lips after she finished eating. It went on for several weeks until I decided it warranted a mention to the doctor. It all culminated in a highly traumatic sonogram of Butterfly’s little heart. Though the procedure didn’t hurt, she hated being made to lie on a table while strangers put goo and an odd contraption on her chest. No problems were found.

A few weeks ago, our Ladybug started coughing yet again. She’s used Xopenex nebulizer medication six times since her birth, and it usually helps soothe this cough. But when we medicated her only to have the cough return a week later, we grew concerned and consulted her pediatrician. It all culminated in an X-ray of her lungs. Fortunately, Ladybug took it in stride and refrained from crying. She did, however, sit shirtless on that steel table with a fearful look in her eyes that went straight to my heart. Again, no serious problems were found—only a confirmation of the bronchitis that her doctor already suspected.

It’s tough to find the line between caution and overreaction, to navigate the boundary between responsibility for your children’s lives and irrational hypochondria on their behalf. Yet, as the primary caregiver of our girls who spends hours with them each day, I notice the unusual. I saw my baby’s blue lips. I heard my toddler’s wheezing breaths. In both situations, I made the decision to get treatment for them and go the extra step to labs for tests. Fortunately, the girls were fine.

It is so difficult decide when something needs attention. Right now, Butterfly has another issue that seems relatively minor, but doctors think a test will help them decide the best treatment. They base this decision only on my reports. Noting the symptoms I listed, they are choosing to go a step further and get conclusive results. I imagine the whole thing will be at least as traumatic as Butterfly’s tornado cat incident, and it is likely that the examiners will find no serious problems. My girl may endure this just to calm her mother’s inner worries.

Of course, I hope that’s what happens: that it merely calms my nerves rather than finding a problem. Still, it’s on me. And that’s tough.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading the Twilight series. I sighed with romantic glee as I read about Edward—his beauty, humility, and chivalry. I saw myself in some of Bella’s longings, in the way she let love take precedence over friendship, in her unhindered focus on the desire of her heart. I also saw myself in Bella’s friends, who questioned her devotion to such a strange and possibly dangerous boy and felt hurt by her withdrawal from them. The fifteen-year-old girl I used to be remembers these things well.

Though time and distance make me a bit more objective about certain situations, I will never completely lose sight of my teen self. My feelings raged so powerfully that I could barely contain them—frustration with my parents versus my deep love for them, powerful romantic love versus the ache of a broken heart, a desperate need for my friends versus a desire to be alone. If Stephenie Meyer does anything well in these books, it’s the way she portrays the roller coaster of the teenage heart. In reviewing the first film adaptation of the novel, NPR’s Kenneth Turan says, ”…the film of Twilight…treats those high-pressure high school emotions with unwavering, uncompromising seriousness; Laurence Olivier essaying Shakespeare didn’t approach his material with more reverence than is on display here.” He’s right. Meyer never pokes fun at the emotions, hopes, dreams, and yearnings of young people. That’s what struck me most about her books. (Well, right behind my head-over-heels fantasy love for a certain 104-year-old vampire, which was later challenged by my intrigue over the 16-year-old werewolf in book 2.)

The book series, translated into more than a dozen languages, has sold millions of copies and garnered mostly positive reviews. (See “Booksellers Find Life After Harry.”) Overall, I’ve viewed it positively as well. Recently, though, someone proposed the idea that maybe teen girls are taking away something unhealthy from these books. It’s all well and good for a grownup to read them with perspective, but what are they saying to young women?

What do you think, girls? Do these books/films inspire you to gravitate toward the “bad” boys? Do they support the idea that pining away for the one you love is acceptable when you’re 17? Are they suggesting that such powerful love and desire are okay when you’re still in high school? Do they make you seriously consider finding the love of your life and getting married right out of high school, not to mention pregnant? What do you think of Edward’s morals? Is he truly concerned with treating Bella respectfully, or does his inherent danger as a vampire outweigh his care? What do you think of Jacob’s words of caution to Bella? Is he right to insist that she takes Edward way too seriously, or do you think he simply wants her for himself and tries to make Edward less attractive?

I want to hear from you, Twilight fans! I’m especially interested in what teens and young adults have to say, but I also welcome comments from those like me who are decidedly NOT teens. Let the discussion begin!

The “green” life has interested me for a while. I’d love to grow my own vegetables, use homemade compost for fertilizer, collect rainwater in barrels, and take reusable shopping bags to Wal-Mart. Heck, I’d love to stop going to Wal-Mart altogether and frequent only local farmer’s markets. I’m not there yet.

Our family tries, though, to take the following environmentally friendly actions as consistently as possible:

1. Recycle all acceptable items (in our area, this includes glass, most plastics, paper, and cans).
2. Use washable cloths rather than paper towels (I still haven’t let go of paper napkins).
3. Use cleansers derived from natural sources (such as Method, my personal favorite).
4. Turn off lights when not in use.
5. Switch on the television only when people intentionally watch it.
6. Shut down our computers each night.
7. Keep the thermostat set at energy-saving temps (at least, the recommended 68 or below in winter; summer is a different beast here in central GA).

Inspired by a dear friend, I am also looking into toiletries that don’t contain harmful chemicals. Sweet Southern Belle pointed me to this site where you can look up your favorite products and see how they rate on a danger scale from 1 (safest) to 10 (most dangerous). Like her, I’ve ordered homemade makeup from All Natural Face on Etsy and tried a few organic hair and face products. We’ve used our regular products for years and years with seemingly no ill effects, but at the same time, it appears that many people suffer from cancer and other diseases whose causes aren’t necessarily known. I know the connections aren’t certain, but it stands to reason that if we pour these chemicals into and onto our bodies, eventually some harm will result. At any rate, I figure the safer products are worth a try.

How do they compare? Well, I miss the delicious smell of my regular shampoo. I didn’t mind Avalon Organics Shampoo’s lavender scent so much until my husband pronounced that it reminded him of wet paint. The texture also takes some getting used to, but my hair has nearly adjusted. I’m still waiting on my makeup to arrive, but the samples my friend gave me looked great and felt clean and fresh. Next up? Maybe deodorant and toothpaste.

I also want our family to try more whole foods and organic products. Still, how can we be certain the “organic” label isn’t merely a ploy for more money? Is anyone else trying these things? What are your thoughts?